Falling
by Lolee Ann
Summary: A Dave and Kurt love story. Post Valentines Day.
1. Chapter 1

**You guys! After a long hiatus, seeing Kurt and Dave together on the V-Day episode made me want to write again! My writing is a little rusty, and there isn't enough dialogue in this first chapter, just a lot of Kurt's inner monologue. But I want to make this story my best yet, so hang in there with me please and here's to finally getting a little Kurtofsky angst and love on Glee.**

**Lolee Ann**

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><p><em>I think I love you….<em>

_I think I love you…_

_I think I love you_…

The words were echoing in Kurt Hummel's ears over and over. He heard them whispered in passing as he walked down the hall. The words were in every song he listened to. They colored and changed every part of his day. And at night..God, at night it was the worse. Because when he closed his eyes, he could hear not only those trembling, hopeful words but he could the tortured hazel eyes of this boy…

This bully..

This dumb sweaty jock..

This homophobic, closeted, self loathing jerk..

Who had turned his life upside down with 5 words.

His boyfriend, Blaine, the boy who had rescued him in so many ways- he'd sung to Kurt probably a million love songs. He'd sent Kurt cards and letters and one time a dozen red roses. Blaine had said 'I love you' so many times in the nights they spent wrapped up together in his bed.

And he cherished each one of those words from Blaine. Each song lyric, each sweet note, each heart felt promise of forever. He held them close to his heart and they had always filled him with a dizzying thrill of happiness.

But none of those words, none of those songs, or notes from Blaine had ever sunken into the very pores of his skin. None of those words had wrapped themselves around his heart until he felt like he couldn't feel anything but those words. Couldn't see anything but the pain in those eyes.

Those five words spoken by Karofsky, whom he didn't even really know and was still kind of afraid of. They should have made him laugh or made him pity the boy who spoke them. Those five words..

_I think I love you_

They felt burned onto his soul.

Kurt didn't want to think about what that meant. He didn't want to deal with this. He wanted it to just go back to before Valentines Day, before Dave's gifts, before his shy smile, before..

But there was not going back. And he had to deal with this. He needed to figure this out before it made him crazy.

He wanted to at least see Dave. To talk to him, if only for a few minutes. Maybe it would help lesson the pain of rejection for the other boy. Maybe it would break the spell that Dave's words held over him. It would help him remember that Dave had hurt him, while his boyfriend, Blaine, the only boy he should be thinking of, had healed and loved him.

Yeah. This would work. Seeing Dave again, talking to him, Kurt knew that he'd realize he was dramatizing the whole secret admirer thing and he'd laugh about what a ridiculous tailspin it had sent him into.

This would work.

It had to.

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><p>Bright and early Saturday morning Kurt edged into the door of Dave's workplace, bracing himself for whatever came next. Though at the moment, he was so nervous that he was pretty sure that him puking was what was going to come next. Taking a short breath, he stepped out of the entrance and into the store.<p>

It would be an understatement to say that Kurt felt out of place in the sports store that Karofsky worked at. It wasn't that Kurt didn't like sports. He just didn't understand the clothing choices that accompanied them.

Looking at all of the poly cotton stretch material and calf length sturdy white socks was giving him the hives.

But he needed to do this, he sternly reminded himself, feeling the sweat start to bead on his forehead. And he figured public was probably the safest place. Dave couldn't stare into his eyes, trying to mesmerize him, sending chills down his spine in aisle 6, in the middle of jock straps and brightly colored tennis rackets.

Not that he could mesmerize him anywhere, Kurt hastily reassured himself. It's just that public was better. Too many feelings…too many things happened when they were alone. Yes, public was the way to go.

Still mentally psyching himself up, he almost missed when Dave appeared from the back room. Dressed in pressed khakis and a dark blue shirt emblazed with the name of the store, he looked every inch the all American boy that Kurt knew him to be.

There wasn't a shred of evidence that he was anything different than what he appeared. Kurt's gaydar wasn't even mildly buzzing. And seeing a giggling 40 something brunette asking Dave a question, he guessed that no one else's was either.

Taking another deep breath and wiping his sweaty palms on his black Marc Jacob skinny leg pants, he forced his feet to stumble forward, in the direction of the other boy.

With each step he could feel the heat in his cheeks increasing. God, he was blushing like he'd come to bring flowers and ask Dave to the Prom.

At the word Prom, Kurt's mind abruptly leapt to an image of him dancing with Dave. Being cradled in his strong hands, protected by his big, tough body. Before he could stop himself he compared it to the reality of dancing with Blaine. Blaine was shorter than him, and typically more interested in fancy steps than losing himself in the music. Kurt liked dancing with him, but it didn't feel like he'd always thought it would feel to dance with the love of his life. He'd always thought it would feel like it was just the two of them, that the entire world would fall away. With Blaine he felt like he was putting on a show, like...

Oh God, this was already not going right. He was supposed to be here, ridding himself of this silly obsession with Dave, not thinking such disloyal thoughts about the greatest boyfriend he could ever ask for, comparing him unfavorably to his former bully.

Sure, before he'd met Blaine he'd always had crushes on jocks. Look at his obsession with Finn. But Blaine had changed all that. This Dave attraction thing was probably just physical, based on the type of guy he didn't like anymore.

Not at all. He was so over the jock thing.

A sudden sharp intake of breath caught him off guard in his halting journey. Looking up, he froze, his own breath caught in his throat.

Standing at the register, ringing up the brunette's purchases, Dave had caught sight of Kurt and his whole body stilled. Kurt finally understood the phrase "like a deer in the headlights". Dave appeared to be immobilized by his presence.

Dave's body might have been frozen, but not his voice. In the same trembling, earnest tone in which he'd told Kurt that he thought he loved him, he spoke again.

"God, you are so beautiful"

Half way across the store, half turned away, Kurt could see the intensity in those hazel eyes that he'd been dreaming of since Valentines Day.

His knees felt weak and; in that moment, everything did fall away. The horrible socks, the staring coworkers, the distance between the two of them. These words were sinking into his soul, just as Dave's declaration of love had a few days before.

Kurt didn't know what would have happened next. Whether he would have tackled Dave down to the ground or run screaming from the store. But he was saved from either of those fates by the shrill, girlish laughter of the brunette at the checkout.

"Why thank you, handsome. An old married lady like me doesn't get too many compliments. Wait until I tell my husband that he's got some competition!"

Dave smiled and glanced apologetically at his nearby manager, before quickly apologing to the brunette, not bothering to correct her mistake. Kurt could tell that she wasn't offended at all, but flattered. He could also see relief shining in Dave's eyes. He'd come close to outing himself to a sports store filled with jocks and families on a Saturday morning. It was not an ideal setting for telling the world you're gay.

It probably wasn't the ideal setting for anything except maybe getting a new mouth guard or scoring a discount rate on cleats for the baseball team.

He didn't know why he'd come here. This was stupid.

Spinning as rapidly as his still weak knees would let him; he turned to face the door, intent on getting out of there before this got any more out of control. He'd have to call Dave or something. This wasn't going to work.

But the sound of running feet stopped him before he could leave. And the wordless plea in those haunting hazel eyes was too much for him to resist. Dave held out his hand. He couldn't speak. He could only slip his hand into Dave's larger grasp and follow where the bigger boy led, past the counter to a back office, empty except for an old desk and two chairs.

They were alone and they wouldn't be disturbed.

This was his chance. This is what he had come to do.

Looking up, he faced Dave for the first time since Valentines Day. He was prepared now; he knew what he had to say. He had to do this. For him and Blaine, and for Dave's own good. He needed to say those words. But when he opened his mouth, the words he'd so carefully planned and rehearsed in his mind didn't come out.

Instead, his cheeks flushing, raising his deep blue gaze to Dave's solemn hazel ones, he spoke without thinking at all.

"You are so beautiful too".


	2. Chapter 2

**You all are wonderful. I love all of the support you have shown my new story. Part of being back means I will be reading all of your stories soon. Brace yourselves for my comments! I am so immersing myself in Kurtofsky mania this weekend:)**

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><p><em>Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings an…<em>

Fumbling for the phone he'd just tossed onto the floor, Kurt hurriedly clicked the mute button. Then, for good measure, he turned the phone off.

That was the 4th call from Blaine. The 4th call he'd ignored. Not to mention several texts expressing worry over Kurt's lack of response.

He couldn't face him, not even through a phone call. He just knew that the second he heard his boyfriend's voice he'd start crying. Or confessing. Or more likely both.

And what good were tears and a confession when he couldn't rationalize what had happened, or justify it. He couldn't even explain it to himself, much less Blaine.

For once in his life, Kurt was at a complete and utter loss for words. He wanted things to go back to the way they had been before Valentines Day. Before this morning at the sports store, before he'd done what he had done. And; because he was feeling like a coward, he wanted someone to protect him from the consequences of his actions.

The worst of it was that when he thought of protection and comfort, his mind conjured up an image of Dave. Of Dave taking him in his arms and keeping him safe. Ironic seeing as Dave was the instigator of this torment. Kurt hadn't known what would happen when he went to talk to Dave at his job that morning. And even now, amidst all of his tortured feelings and regrets, it was those moments in the back room with Dave that lingered foremost in his mind.

He could still smell the slightly musty odor of the space. Feel the chill of the unheated store room chilling him. See the hesitant hazel eyes, barely able to meet his own, their depths filled with a combination of self loathing and confusion…

Then he could hear his own voice betraying him, telling Dave that he thought him to be beautiful.

A jolt of anguished feeling shot through Kurt as he fell headlong into the memory of that morning.

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><p>Kurt couldn't believe he'd just told Dave he was beautiful.<p>

He couldn't believe he even thought that. Wasn't this the exact same boy he'd called a sweaty, chubby meathead just last year?

In a flash of insight Kurt realized that he hadn't even meant those words when he'd said them. Had only said them so Dave would feel the same kind of pain he was feeling being bullied by him.

He'd thought Dave was beautiful, even then.

On some subconscious level that he wouldn't even admit to himself, Dave had made his heart race for more than one reason. Not just because he was a bully, but because he was…well, beautiful.

But how would Dave react now that he knew that? Kurt was too scared to lift his eyes to find out. His was so tense that the sound of Dave's voice, though husky and pitched low, rang in his head like a shout, causing him to jerk away from the sound.

"Kurt, I.." At Kurt's involuntary movement Karofsky's voice became even more hesitant,

"Kurt, I'm sorry about what I just said. I know I embarrassed you. You were probably here to shop...you know, for Finn or something, and I made you feel umcomfortable. I didn't mean to. You caught me off guard. I…I know how you feel, and I…I"

Kurt couldn't let the other boy continue to apologize when he was not at fault in any way. Holding his hand up, he shook his head.

Dave's voice stumbled to a halt.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, Kurt found the courage to speak.

"I didn't come here to shop, David. I came here to see you"

Kurt watched as Dave's look of apology and concern slowly transformed into one of confusion. Clearly, he wasn't going to get out of here that easy. The other boy deserved more of an explanation.

"Listen, I didn't feel right about how things ended at Breadsticks. I've been thinking a lot about you...umm...about what you said and I felt like we needed to talk, so I found out where you worked and I thought…I guess..I don't know…I thought we could talk"

Kurt winced as his jumbled explanation echoed through the room. Dave probably thought he was crazy and he was probably rethinking the whole "I think I love you" thing right about now.

Kurt couldn't explain why the thought of David not loving him filled him with a sudden and sharp despair.

He was yanked from his painful introspection by the sound of Dave's voice. He sounded less hesitant. But still nervous and apologetic.

"Kurt, that's so thoughtful. I guess that's one of the things I love about you…"

Dave paused, the tips of his ears and cheeks burning red at the revelation. Hurriedly, he continued.

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness. You didn't have to come. I got your message on Valentines Day. I understand that you are in love with Blaine and I want so much for you to be happy. Even if it can't be with me"

He paused again and Kurt felt his heart racing. Dave's cheeks and ears were redder than before and he seemed to be on verge of speech. What would he say? Before Kurt could speculate or ask, Karofsky spoke again, his voice a raw whisper.

'And, I really appreciate what you said. I mean, about me being beautiful. I know I'm not your type at all, and I've been thinking that…that, I might not be anyone's. I doubt a lot of guys are really into the sweaty, balding jock kind of guy"

His voice trailed off again, his eyes cast down at his feet, which idly shuffled, as if not sure whether to leave or to stay.

Kurt was stunned. He'd always thought himself to be Dave's victim, but, with a few words, words only meant to protect him from his bully, he had deeply hurt the other boy. Not that his harsh words were in any way equal to the years of physical and mental torment that Karofsky and his buddies had put Kurt through. But still, it was a revelation to Kurt that he'd hurt David so badly.

A revelation that filled him with burning shame and a need to reassure. He couldn't let David leave, thinking the worst of himself.

"David, listen…I didn't mean those things I said. I was just angry, and I..."

Karofsky cut him off.

"Kurt its ok, you don't have to lie to make me feel better. I can handle knowing the truth, that I'm a sweaty, balding jock, and that I'm not your type. I don't think..."

Whatever he'd been able to say was lost. Lost because, in that moment, Kurt took three decisive strides, closing the distance between them.

Lost because he then put his hand on Dave's cheek, causing him to look up in shock at the blue eyes piercing his own hazel ones.

Lost because when their eyes met, Kurt lost all sense of time and place.

Lost because suddenly they were kissing. Kissing as if they had only this moment to express all of the feeling that had always existed between them. Kissing and all the world feel away.

Dave reached out, drawing Kurt in close to his big, warm body. Kurt could feel the heat from the soles of his feet all the way up his entire body. He had the strange feeling of finally coming home, after a life time of wandering in the cold.

Their hands couldn't stop gripping each other closer, and Kurt wished; in that moment, that he could be absorbed into the other boy. He couldn't get close enough.

Dave's lips; now swollen and red from their kissing broke free of his. Kurt whimpered, trying to bring the other boy back. He needed...he needed more…

"Kurt"

With an irritated moan, his eyes pressed shut; reaching to pull the other boy back into his arms…

"Kurt, are you ok?"

With a jerk Kurt came back to reality, and snapped both wide awake and sitting upright in his bed.

Blaine sat on the edge, a worried look on his handsome face.

"What's wrong, honey? I haven't been able to get a hold of you. We were supposed to go see the community theater production of Hairspray tonight, right? "

Kurt ran a weary hand through his rumpled hair. Community Theater was the last thing he felt like.

He didn't want to leave this bed. He didn't want to stop thinking about Karofsky. Blaine had come in just as his memory had gotten to the best stuff.

Damn him.

Instantly contrite, Kurt forced a smile onto his face. This was his boyfriend. Blaine, the one he loved. The one he needed. The one he'd slept with, even if it had only been ok, that didn't mean...

Turning off his disloyal brain, Kurt shook his head and spoke, his voice apologetic.

"Sorry, honey. I've had a headache all day. But I'm better now. Give me five minutes to get ready."

Blaine, his easy smile back in place, bounded off the bed.

"Great, I'll go make us some virgin pina coladas. Does your mom still have those fresh cherries?"

Kurt hastily nodded an affirmative and watched as Blaine jogged down the hall, swinging Kurt's bedroom door closed behind him.

Flopping back on his bed, he sighed.

Then his phone, which he'd turned back on when Blaine had arrived, beeped.

If Blaine was texting him from downstairs, he was not going to be amused.

But it wasn't Blaine. It wasn't a number he had in his phone. But the message could have only been from one person.

Kurt's hands trembled as his eyes scanned the text over and over.

"I know you are not mine. I know that. But is it wrong for me to tell you that my arms ache right now? That I would give anything to hold you in this moment?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh my gosh you guys, how insane was last night's Glee? I loved it and I hated it at the same time. It would have been perfect if Kurt had told Dave that he loved him and then they got married instead of Finn and Rachel:) Well, I am going to keep writing this without adding anything from last night. I hope that's ok. I love all of your reviews and favorites. You guys are the BEST. **

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><p>Three weeks.<p>

Well, three weeks, 2 days, and 12 hours since Kurt had deleted Dave's text from his phone and tried to forget about that Saturday morning in the back room of the other boy's job.

Three weeks of crushing guilt, knowing he should tell Blaine what happened.

Three weeks of even more guilt, as he dreamed of that morning with Dave every single night.

Three weeks of a longing so intense that Kurt sometimes felt it would bring him to his knees. Longing to be wrapped up in the strong arms of this boy that he didn't understand, didn't love, and didn't even really know.

He and Blaine had been through so much together. Blaine had brought him back from such a dark place. A dark place created; in large part, by Dave. He'd been so happy with him. So content. Until that Valentines night. It shouldn't have mattered what Dave said. It shouldn't have mattered that he had whispered those words with so much anguish.

_I think I love you._

He didn't love Dave. He didn't.

So why couldn't he control these feelings? Why did he feel like he was slowly going crazy?

He'd tried everything to forget the other boy.

He thought of all the times Dave bullied him.

He'd been extra romantic with Blaine.

But even sex with Blaine hadn't helped.

It had left him feeling more empty and lost than ever.

Because he hadn't been able to stop picturing that he was sharing such an intimate and intense experience with someone else. Blaine's dark eyes and hair had faded until all he could see was a shy smile and tortured hazel eyes.

The combination of guilt and yearning was about to break him. He'd almost confessed to Blaine. This wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to either boy.

But apparently he was more of a coward than he had thought. Because he still hadn't confessed to Blaine and he was still ignoring Dave.

And he couldn't bear to hurt either one of them.

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><p>Kurt made it another 24 hours before he found himself pulled up outside Dave's house. Blaine had gone to his cousin's house in Baltimore for a wedding and would be gone for 4 days.<p>

If there ever was a time to deal with the "Dave situation", this was it. Although, if he was honest with himself, Kurt still didn't know what he was going to say or do.

He just knew that he had to see him. Had to be near him.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of his car.

His knees buckled, and only his fast grip on the car door kept him from falling onto the pavement.

God, this was so much harder than even he'd thought it would be.

What was he doing? What was he thinking?

Oh God, the porch light was on. Someone was opening the door.

Dave.

Kurt's knees buckled again and this time he couldn't stop the momentum pulling him down to the pavement, his back against the driver side door.

Tears of humiliation burned behind the closed lids of his eyes. He could hear the gravel crunching beneath the shoes of the other boy. Great, now Dave was probably going to call the police. He knew he would have already been on the phone to 911 if he'd seen some weirdo collapse in his driveway.

The footsteps stopped and Kurt could sense someone standing over him. And al of the sudden he wasn't sure who it was. It could be Dave's dad, or his brother. His face burning, he pushed trembling hands through his rumpled hair and braced himself to open his eyes and face whatever fallout would come from this horrible decision.

Before he could muster up the courage to look, he heard the sound of a person shifting and felt warmth radiating next to his chilled body. A hesitant voice spoke, the single word reverberating in his ears.

"Hey".

Dave.

It was Dave sitting on this cold pavement with him.

And in that moment the humiliation and fear fell away and all he could feel was an intense rush through his body, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. A rush of peace, of warmth, of security.

Dave was here.

Everything was going to be ok.

And suddenly Kurt's words were tripping over each other. He wanted..needed..to say so many things to this boy. So many things he hadn't even been able to say to himself until this exact time, this exact place.

"Dave, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring that text. I'm sorry for coming to see you and then hiding. I didn't know I was such a coward. I've wanted to talk to you every single minute of every single day for the last 24 days. I'm just so..so confused and I love Blaine, I love him so much, Dave. He loves me too. He loves me and I…I can't hurt him. I can't hurt him, but I feel something when I'm with you. I feel so much when I'm with you and I..I…"

Kurt's words, rushed and almost incoherent in places, came to a trembling halt. He'd said so much and yet he felt like he hadn't even begun to explain his feelings at all. He didn't know if he had the words to explain.

Dave; dressed in dark blue jeans and a bright red McKinley High sweatshirt, his hair as rumpled as Kurt's, was looking at him, his hazel eyes brilliant against the night sky.

Kurt couldn't look right at Dave. Couldn't bear to read what the other boy was thinking or feeling reflected in those hazel depths.

A long moment of silence stretched between them. Kurt didn't know how to fill it. Didn't have any more words. And just when he thought he would go crazy, Dave's low voice pierced the silence.

"Kurt, nothing is more important to me than you being ok. I can't stand the thought of you being hurt. I can see that it's tearing you up to be in this situation. Part of me, the selfish part, is yelling at me to try and do anything to keep you here. I've dreamed of you being here so many times. Well.,"

He paused and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke again.

"By here, I mean my home, not the driveway. Ok, to be completely honest, I've dreamed of you being in the driveway. In the backseat..umm…in my car, not on the pavement."

Kurt's cheeks flushed a deeper red and his mind was immediately assaulted with a thousand images of him and Dave together in the backseat of his car, his mouth locked on Dave's , their hands gripping each other, frantic in their desire to touch, to …

Dave's voice snapped him back to attention, though the increasingly husky tone of his voice indicated that he wasn't unaffected by his revelation either.

"Kurt, I get it. I love Blaine too. I love how confident his love has made you, how happy. He was there for you when I was trying to destroy that confidence. I wouldn't ever ask you to cheat on him or leave him. I shouldn't have come on Valentines Day. And I shouldn't have kissed you at my job. It's just really hard for me.."

Kurt's eyes were trained on Dave's steadily reddening face, his heart in his throat. What would the other boy say next?

"I've never felt anything like the feelings I have around you. It's like you're a drug to me. When I see you my mind goes blank and all I can think is "I've got to hold him, I've got to kiss him, I've got to protect him and cherish him".

Dave laughed self consciously. Kurt almost couldn't hear the raspy sound over the beating of his own heart.

" Stupid, right? I guess you kind of bring out my cave man instincts. I see you and I think "mine". And I know it's wrong and it's not fair to you. I need you to be happy. Knowing you are happy, knowing you are loved, that's all I need in this life. That's all that I ask God for every night on my knees. I'll be ok as long as you are ok"

Kurt's heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. He couldn't get a handle on his feelings and his thoughts were all over the place. Hearing the words that Dave said, it had filled some part in him that he hadn't know had been empty until that moment. Hearing him talk about his feelings, how much he wanted Kurt, it made Kurt's blood pressure soar and his toes curl beneath the polished surface of his loafers.

He and Karofsky were at least on the same page in that regard. They had a severe case of mutual lust. Even now, with his thoughts in a jumble, sitting on the pavement in the cold winter air, Kurt's finger were literally itching to touch the other boy. To pull off the baggy sweatshirt and run his hands over…

Kurt slammed the door on his thoughts, and tried to get his heart and his breathing under control. He really tried with everything he had.

But nothing was working.

Not imaging Blaine.

Not thinking of Karofsky the bully.

Not repeating "I'm not a cheater" over and over in his head.

He didn't realize he'd moved until he found his hand covering Dave's.

The other boy's breath caught, and he raised his beautiful eyes to Kurt, their hazel depths questioning and just a little bit hopeful.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone. I am a jerk. A jerk that doesn't update for 3 months. I can't tell you how many times I've ranted about some author who didn't update a story I was super invested in. Now I've become that person. Thanks to messages from Spooki Bibi and Kimmy Sue I realized it's time to get this story going again. I had to reread it to remember where I was. You might have to as well:/ Sorry! The next chapter will be out by tomorrow night! Sorry this is super short. Get ready for an insanely long chapter tomorrow night. I might even finish Bittersweet, people. Oh yeah. Lolee Ann**

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><p>And just like that Kurt went under.<p>

With just that hopeful, hesitant look from Dave, Kurt fell so far, so fast, that he instinctively knew there was no coming back from this place.

This was it.

This was that once in a life time, dancing in the rain, walking on the beach at sunset, celebrating the 50th anniversary surrounded by grandchildren, soul mate kind of love.

And Kurt suddenly understood that this is what Romeo must have felt, standing under the stars, peering up into Juliet's balcony.

This breathless, almost painful feeling gripping his heart had been what the Shakespearean hero would have felt. What he had both killed and died for.

In that moment Kurt knew that he would do the same. He would kill for this boy, his scarred, imperfect, beautiful former bully.

And looking up on that clear, cold night he didn't see the stars. The only thing Kurt could see were those brilliant hazel eyes. And he knew that not only would he kill for this boy, but he would die for him too.

A feeling he'd never come close to feeling for Blaine.

His boyfriend.

Oh God.

Oh God.

Suddenly, Kurt could feel a wave of anxiety trying to overtake him, a host of disjointed and panicked thoughts, all racing to negate the realization that he had just come to. He wanted to run. He wanted to close his eyes and ears and pretend he didn't know. He wanted to cry for what he knew he would have to do, to say, who he would have to hurt.

But stronger than his fear, stronger than the panic, and sadness, and his insecurities was a feeling of peace. The peace of knowing that this boy was the one. Looking at his Dave he had the feeling of a long missing puzzle piece locking into place.

Tomorrow would bring decisions. And conflict. And probably tears and anger and a million other things that Kurt's brain screamed at him to avoid.

But his heart, beating faster than he had ever felt it, wouldn't let him leave. Wouldn't let him hurt this boy. Because he knew that from this moment on, when Dave hurt, he would hurt too. How could he not?

Dave was the other half of him.

Oh God.

Those hazel eyes were still hesitant, still hopeful, gazing into his. Kurt knew he had to say something, say anything.

How did you tell someone that you just realized; at the age of 18, that they were your soul mate?

Kurt didn't know. He only knew he felt. That would have to be enough.

Picking up Dave's hand he linked his small fingers through the other boy's bigger ones, feeling the nerves that shook them. Clasping their hands tight he whispered the word that he hoped would explain everything, his green eyes locked with Dave's hazel.

"Mine"


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, people. I want you to know that I ignored a whole stack of intake assessments that needed to be completed at work today in order to write Chapter 5. I hope you like it. Like it or hate it, I really appreciate you reading and your wonderful comments. Thanks for being awesome. Lolee Ann**

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><p>Kurt paced the length of his room. It was Wednesday night. Blaine's flight had gotten in earlier in the evening. He would be over in less than an hour. His last text had said "<em>4 days apart is 2 long. Can't wait 2 c u<em>!"

Kurt could've have waited to see Blaine. He had hoped snow would delay him in Baltimore. Maybe for another day. Or year. Right about now he would kill for another hour.

He just needed more time. More time to figure out how to tell him.

In the four days and nights Blaine was gone; Kurt had a million and one thoughts about how he was going to break the news to the other boy.

The news that he wanted to break up with him.

For Dave Karofsky.

Dave Karofsky, the bully.

The bully that Blaine had; in fact, saved him from.

Suffice it to say that no good ideas or words came to him. Not in the bitterly cold, anxious days, nor in the restless, floor pacing nights of late February.

Blaine had left his school, the Warblers, everything for him. He'd been Kurt's anchor in the stormy seas of high school drama. He'd been Kurt's first "I love you", Kurt's first relationship, first Prom date, first lover, first everything.

He was the story book Prince that Kurt had dreamed of since he was 4 and switching out the tape of He-man his dad put on for him to watch his cousin's copy of Cinderella. Blaine was tall _(well, not really),_ but he _was_ dark and so handsome.

He'd swept Kurt off his feet, just like Prince Charming had swept up Cinderella.

And if Kurt didn't feel overwhelming passion for Blaine, well...those things came in time. And if Kurt didn't look at Blaine the way he remembered his dad looking at his mom, or saw him now look at Carol…well, that would be for when they were older.

At least that is what Kurt had been telling himself. What he'd desperately wanted to believe.

Until that night four days ago. That night on Dave's cold, uncomfortable driveway, the lightest hint of flurries swirling down around them, dusting Dave's eye lashes in glittery snow. Like anything else was needed to make those eyes more beautiful.

Kurt remembered looking into those stunning eyes and saying what he'd been trying not to feel since that moment in the Bread Sticks.

"Mine."

He didn't know what he'd been expecting when he made that declaration, his hand clasped in Dave's. He hadn't exactly been thinking logically at that point. That simple word, "mine", it had come from his heart, not his head.

And so had Dave's response.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about that night since it had happened.

And even with Blaine arriving at any moment, and his mind and stomach churning in knots of guilt, panic, and confusion, he couldn't help but let his mind drift back to that moment.

The most perfect moment of his life.

No sooner had the word "mine" crossed his lips when he'd swiftly and instinctively turned his face up to Dave's, somehow knowing that this was the moment he'd been waiting his whole life for. The most perfect moment of his life.

Except that Dave; in that exact moment, had leaned his face down, possibly thinking the same.

Resulting in their heads knocking together.

Pain radiating from his scalp had Kurt reaching up for his aching head, a stream of less than romantic obscenities spilling from his lips.

"Damn it, what the F*&, my g$* d#$&* head is pounding..."

Lost in his litany of curses, he hadn't realized that Dave's hands were reaching out, presumably to soothe Kurt's head. Their hands reached his throbbing head at the same time and somehow; in the confusion, the combined pressure of four hands caused Kurt to fall back on the gravel.

Smacking the back of his head as hard as he'd just smacked the front.

Dave had been the one cursing then, jumping up from his seated position, seemingly headed in the direction of Kurt's now pain racked head. Only; when he jumped up and turned, he must have forgotten to look down.

Because Kurt's Kenneth Cole clad feet were right under him. From Kurt's perspective on the ground it looked like it was all happening in slow motion. Dave's quick dash to his feet, the step forward, the realization that their feet were tangled together, followed by Dave's realization that he was about to fall.

If Kurt weren't in so much pain, he would have laughed at the expression on the other boy's face.

Dave hit the ground pretty hard. At least if the muffled thud and subsequent moans were any indication.

Struggling to sit up, the ground swaying dizzily under his gaze, Kurt frantically racked his brain, trying to figure out what the fairy tale books recommended in situations like this.

But; as far as he knew, Cinderella had never knocked Prince Charming in the head, been accidentally pushed over by him and then watched him trip over her glass slippered feet.

He wanted to smile, to laugh it off, but heaviness filled his heart. A heart that had; only seconds before, been filled to the brim with love and certainty.

Would nothing go right with this boy?

Was this Fate's way of telling Kurt that; no matter what he might feel, that this was wrong?

The pain in his head, the still spinning world, it all faded away. Until nothing but cold remained. A numb feeling that poured through every cell of his body like ice water.

He'd never reacted to the idea of losing Blaine like this. Never felt like the very life was slowly leeching out of his bones. Losing Blaine had never made it hurt to breathe.

Before Kurt could untangle himself from his thoughts, much less his careening emotions or his slumped position on the ground, Dave was there.

And suddenly he was off the ground. Dave's letterman jacket was around his body and he was being carried in his arms. Literally swept off his feet.

Dave transported him wordlessly into the warmth of his house. Which Kurt noticed was empty. Through a foyer and into a sunken in den, they went, until Dave stopped in front of the fire place, a merrily burning fire behind its grate.

Dave settled him on the couch, surrounding Kurt with his unique scent. He smelled clean like falling leaves, and February wind, and happiness.

And as Kurt watched the last glittering drops of snow melt off the other boy's lashes he thought this was the most perfect moment of his life. But he was wrong.

Because in the same moment that he realized that one of his shoes had twisted off in the scuffle outside; most likely when Dave fell, the other boy was there, at the foot of the couch, his Kenneth Cole faux suede ankle length boot in hand.

And as he slid it back on Kurt's foot there was the briefest moment when Kurt could have sworn that his shoe glimmered like glass.

And he thought this was the most perfect moment of his life. But he was wrong.

10 minutes later Dave had Kurt wrapped up in a blanket, an ice pack on either side of his head _(and one on Dave's own forehead too),_ and had texted Kurt's dad for him, telling him he'd be spending the night with a friend. Then he'd leaned in, catching Kurt's hands and tangling his fingers together with the smaller boy's. And he'd whispered to him, his first words since Kurt had uttered the fateful "mine".

He'd whispered, "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight. For I never saw true beauty till this night"

He had quoted William _fucking_ Shakespeare.

And not just any Shakespeare. The words of Romeo to his Juliet.

This had to be it. There couldn't be any moment more perfect than this. But again, Kurt was wrong.

His perfect moment came that night; wrapped up in Dave's arms in front of the fire.

When Dave whispered that he would wait for him. Wait for him to figure things out with Blaine. Wait for him if it took a million years. That he'd hold together every single piece if this breakup tore Kurt apart. That he'd try to never make Kurt sorry that he'd made this decision. That's he'd never had a prayer answered until this very moment and he'd gotten on his knees; when he went into the kitchen for the ice packs. He'd gotten on his knees for the first time in years and thanked God for listening. For knowing how badly he'd needed Kurt.

And then he'd told Kurt that Kurt felt like home to him. And he'd fallen asleep, still linking their hands, their ice bags slowly melting into the couch beneath them.

The memory washed over Kurt, spreading warmth through his body, calming his nerves, settling his stomach. Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes, knowing he could handle anything that lay before him.

He was right on time, it seemed. His opening eyes connected with his boyfriend's, just as Blaine pushed open the door. Before Kurt could manage one word, Blaine threw himself on the bed, wrapping his arms around Kurt, his voice quivering.

"I missed you, honey".

The cold, numbing feeling was back and all the strength he'd pulled from his memories of Dave slowly froze, slipping away before he could grasp it close.

Oh God.

What was he going to do?


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys, feel free to kill me. I DESPISE myself for taking 5 months to update this story. It's been in my head the whole time. I promise (on my honor) that I will add at least one more chapter this weekend. One more chapter I like to call "The make out in the bathroom chapter!" p.s.- You might want to start this story from the beginning. I had to reread it! I'm a disgrace as an author. Happy Friday! Lolee Ann (p.s.- This one is for you, Kimmie Sue!)**

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><p>Kurt wasn't as brave as he had always secretly hoped he was. In fact; he was a damned coward. This explained why, two weeks after Blaine's return home, he still hadn't broken up with him.<p>

He wanted to. He needed to. He wanted to be with Dave so badly that at moments his whole body felt weighted down with yearning. It was just that…

How do you tell someone that you never really loved them? That you hadn't known what love was until you found that other person. That other half of your soul.

And so; in that moment when Blaine had rushed in the door, sweeping Kurt up in his arms, he'd had made a split second decision.

He couldn't break up with Blaine. He couldn't...wouldn't hurt him like that.

But maybe he could get Blaine to break up with him.

And over the last 14 days he'd tried his damnedest.

The first week he'd tried to provoke Blaine into dumping him. He called Blaine at all hours to talk about feelings in a whiny voice. He'd openly flirted with other guys and sometimes; when he was desperate, he flirted with girls too. He criticized Blaine's weight. He'd started wearing mismatching socks. He'd joined McKinley High's Young Republicans.

No result. If anything, it made Kurt feel worse. Blaine was being such a great boyfriend. Listening when Kurt whined about his feelings, ignoring his flirting, taking his critiques in stride, and promising to support Kurt when he ran for president of the Young Republicans club.

The second week, he'd avoided Blaine, not returning texts for hours, cancelling plans. Hoping that this sort of passive abandonment would send the message he was apparently too cowardly to deliver. But Blaine was understanding, concerned and supportive. He'd told Kurt it seemed like he needed space, but he was just a text or phone call away. He said that he loved him, and he'd always be there for him.

Kurt had never felt so low. How could anyone hurt such a nice guy? Wasn't there some other way to do this?

But there wasn't because any other way left him without Dave. Being without Dave…it felt like not being able to catch his breath. He craved the other boy, needed to see, hear, touch him. And he couldn't; not really, not until he broke this off.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. That thought was on repeat track in his head, as Kurt hunched over his smart phone in the back of the school library. Google had answered all of his big life questions. "What product keeps your hair styled for hours?", "How do you tell your dad that you are gay?", and "How many times is too many times to see Wicked?" Surely they had a good answer to "How do you get your boyfriend to break up with you?"

And then...

Kurt knew Dave was in the library. It was like he could almost feel a change in the air. Electricity. He huffed impatiently at his own clichéd thinking. There was no electric...

A large, warm hand settled on his shoulder and every thought jolted from Kurt's mind. He was right, it wasn't electricity. It was being struck directly by lightning. His whole body hummed with joy.

Dave's whispered "Hey babe" sent a rush of chills down his sensitized body. He felt surrounded by the other boy as he leaned over Kurt's shoulder, focused on something on the table. Dave brought with him that scent that Kurt loved, the clean scent of falling leaves and winter air. He appealed to every one of Kurt's senses. He loved everything about Dave.. his voice, his body, the way his hand felt on Kurt's shoulder. His taste...God, he fell asleep every night thinking about the way Dave kissed him, the way it made the whole world fall away, the way the other boy tasted…like champagne and chocolate. Completely intoxicating and addictive.

Kurt shook himself out of his reverie. His thoughts sounded like the back of a really trashy, over the top romance novel. He was at school, in back of the library. Not the right time or place for what he was feeling, thinking, wanting to do. Peering up he realized that Dave had leaned over and seen his Smartphone screen, seen what he had asked Google. Turning his body in the chair, Kurt gazed with some uncertainty into the face of the boy he loved.

What would Dave say? Would he call Kurt out on being a coward? Did he think Kurt wasn't as in love as he was? Would he give him an ultimatum?

But those hazel eyes were solemn with just a hint of mirth in their depths.

"I see what your plan is. I was wondering if that was you I saw flirting with Mrs. Williams the other day. "(McKinley's librarian...she had to be 100 if she was a day).

Kurt blushed, his red cheeks betraying his guilt. He'd asked Mrs. William's how she felt about younger men, hoping that Blaine would be both offended and worried about his mental health. But both Blaine had only laughed when Mrs. William's had sharply retorted "I think younger men need to return their library books on time, Mr. Hummel!"

Blaine had later confessed that he thought Kurt was sweet for trying to make Mrs. Williams feel "young and dangerous again".

Blaine was being so patient with him. Dave was being so patient with him. Kurt felt trapped. He loved one boy and couldn't be with him because of his own cowardice. He owed so much to another boy and couldn't be truthful with him because he didn't want to hurt him.

But; in the meantime, everyone was getting hurt.

Blaine was hurt by his confusing actions.

He was sure that Dave was hurt by Kurt's unwillingness to tell the truth about their feelings.

And he was in pain. It literally hurt by being apart from Dave.

Letting himself feel that pain seemed to snap his barely held control. Two weeks without Dave was too long. He couldn't stand the separation for another minute. He didn't know what he was going to do, how he was going to do it, or how he could stop any of them from hurting. All of a sudden, all of his strategies and his worry didn't matter. All that mattered is that he needed Dave. He needed the other boy's arms, his comfort, his scent, his love surrounding Kurt. He needed a moment of dreams to get him through this nightmare.

Twisting to glance at the back corner of the library where he had planted himself at the start of study hall, Kurt observed no one nearby. Good. He shoved his phone in the front of his messenger bag, ran a hand through his carefully styled hair and stood up, his hastily pushed back chair moving Dave several feet back.

Giving the area one last careful scan, he leaned up to whisper in the bigger boy's ear.

"Meet me in the back hallway boy's bathroom in 5 minutes".

Kurt normally wouldn't chance something as public as a bathroom, but he knew that it was shut down, awaiting new sinks or something. No one went in there.

He took three steps before the hand stopped him. Dave's hand, tightly clasping Kurt's wrist, forcing him to stop and glance back at the other boy. Kurt pulled his eyes from the beautiful sight of Dave's hand on his body, trying to focus on Dave's face. The intensity in the other boy's eyes almost brought him to his knees. Those hazel eyes smoldered, slowly deepening in color. Kurt lost all sense of time and place, stumbling forward into Dave's arms.

Kurt had just registered the contact with that tough, big body, just heard his and Dave's mutual sigh of relief when Dave's hand, still wrapped around his wrist, pulled them apart. Kurt whimpered helplessly, trying to recapture the peace of being in Dave's arms, pushing forward, but Dave's words stopped him.

And; as they had done over and over since that Valentines night, Dave's words hit him like a punch to the heart.

" I…I promised myself I would never hide you again."

If Kurt could have fallen any more in love with Dave, he would have at that moment. He knew Dave was as desperate for him as he was for Dave. He could barely take a step he was so incoherent with the need to be with the other boy. He wanted to put his hands, his mouth, his body all over Dave and brand him, so that no one would ever doubt who Dave belonged to ever again. He wanted to see those eyes, glazed with desire, staring into his own. He wanted Dave to back him up against the wall and….

Releasing his shaky hand from Dave's grasp, Kurt held it over his heart, hoping that could slow the pounding of his heart. It didn't help.

Turning away from the other boy, he hefted the messenger bag more securely across his shoulder as he began walking. There was no pause in his step as he turned, his cheeks flushed, and trained his eyes on Dave's.

"3 minutes, Kurofsky".


	7. Chapter 7

**This final chapter is dedicated to Kimmie Sue. I'm sorry it took so long to be completed. I hope it makes you happy.**

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><p>The most epic make out session of his life had occurred two weeks ago. In the boys bathroom of all places. Not the kind of thing most boys day dreamed about. Well, maybe straight guys did, but Kurt liked to think that his people (gay boys) were a little classier. Gay boys day dreamed about making out in places like the teachers lounge or in the auditorium. See what I mean? Classy.<p>

In spite of the less than romantic setting, the memories of that afternoon with Dave were scorched into his very soul. When he thought about it; which he did...oh…300 times a day...it never failed to make his heart race and his lips burn. And if he closed his eyes hard enough, he could still feel Dave's arms around him, his hands all over Kurt's body. Those hands…those big, tough hands...they somehow made him feel both safe and like he was falling through space all at the same time.

He hadn't seen Dave since that afternoon. Well, besides in brief passing in the halls. The intensity of their two second eye contact was almost enough to bring Kurt to his knees.

But Dave wanted this. He'd driven Kurt home that afternoon, somehow hiding their exit from Blaine. He'd pulled into the Hummel's driveway. He'd turned off the car, slowly pulling his fingers free from Kurt's two handed clasp. And then he'd said it.

"I think I need to give you space. I...I don't think me being in your life is making this any easier on you. "

Kurt remembered the feeling of his heart dropping, his blood turning cold. He'd even put his hand on his chest; the pain was so sharp and so real. He'd been unable to stop the pained whimper that had emerged at Dave's calm, toneless pronouncement.

Dave's face had crumpled then, Kurt remembered. It was then that he'd realized that Dave had been trying to be brave. For him.

God, it made him love him even more.

Somehow Dave had pulled him across the console, gathering Kurt's shaking body in his arms. And while he'd just literally rolled around on the bathroom floor with this boy, this embrace somehow felt even more electrifying. Not because he was turned on (although; he was, being near Dave kept him constantly worked up), but because this embrace felt like a promise. Like real, let's get a mortage together, what should we name our kids, we'll be together until the end of time love. Kurt could feel it seeping through his very bones- the love Dave had for him.

It gave him the strength to hear what the other boy said next. Gently resting Kurt's head on his shoulder, Dave began to speak, his voice hushed with pain.

"I love you. You know I do. I just need everything to be ok for you and it's not. Not while you are with him. I can't sleep at night thinking that you are out somewhere with him. I can't eat, I can't focus, and I can't breathe sometimes. But mostly I can't stand the thought of you in pain. This- me and you- and you and him- is hurting you, baby, I can feel it."

And with that Dave told him that he'd be back when Kurt had broken things off. Because he wanted Kurt to have the space he needed to figure this out.

In retrospect, Kurt didn't know how he'd been able to numbly agree and untangle himself from Dave, sliding out the door and somehow making it to his room, falling face down on his bed.

He wished he'd told Dave how much he loved him. Or how stupid this idea was. Or that having even just a little of him was what gave him strength, what took away his pain.

But he hadn't been able to utter more than a word or two. And now here he was, two weeks later.

Still with Blaine.

Not with Dave even a little bit.

And feeling more and more like he was drowning every day.

Something had to change. Had to.

Before he went completely under.

In the end it turned out to be a lot easier than he had ever expected. He'd gone to Blaine's house, armed with the painful truth and pleas for continued friendship and understanding trembling on his lips.

But Blaine hadn't been alone.

He'd been sitting on the lap of some preppy, Dalton sweater wearing Asian boy that Kurt had never seen before. And for a minute, the shock of it- the shock of seeing this boy whose feelings he had tried so hard to protect- casually draped across someone else- the shock took his breath away.

Even as he'd let himself acknowledge his feelings for Dave, a small part of his heart still belonged to his first boyfriend. His first kiss (well, kinda), his first...everything. Blaine had been so good for him in so many ways. And now that small part of his heart was crumbling.

But the rest of his heart- the 99% that was filled to the brim with passion for one slightly stocky, tall, clumsy, beautiful, poetic, caring jock- that part of his heart rejoiced. And it was from that place of relief that he'd finally found the ability to speak.

It hadn't been a big scene. Well, it had started that way, with Kurt's casual greeting causing Blaine to fall off of the other kid's lap (whose name was Tristan or Tistan or something equally upper crust and forgettable). He'd starting crying and trying to explain. Kurt had cut him off; recognizing his part in this farce. He'd let go of Blaine a while ago and he didn't blame him for finding someone who wanted him. Who was there for him.

He told Blaine the whole, unvarnished truth. To say that Blaine's tears dried up quickly was an understatement. Blaine went from villain to victim in 30 seconds flat. And the part of Kurt that wasn't still kind of numb from shock and an excess of emotion (both positive and negative) felt pain when he saw the look change in Blaine's eyes. From one of warm, cherished shared memories to one of anger and loss.

Things wouldn't ever be the same with them. Their memories and years of friendship couldn't survive this.

So they'd gone through the break up ritual. Giving the other one stuff back from each other's houses, deleting each other as friends on facebook, changing their relationship statuses, breaking it to friends. Normally they would have divided their mutual friends between them, but Blaine had decided to cut his losses and go back to Dalton. To be with Triscut (or whatever his name was).

All in all, it took about 3 days for Kurt to feel free. To feel like there was nothing that he still owed Blaine. That there was nothing tying him to the other boy. To feel free.

And now here he was. Standing on Dave's front step. Feeling that same free falling feeling that being near Dave always gave him.

Here went nothing.

_Ding-Dong._

The doorbell was immediately followed by the sound of slightly dragging feet.

"I got it, Mom".

Oh God, that was Dave's voice. The voice of the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. One lifetime wouldn't be enough; Kurt thought frantically, his heart racing as the steps stopped in front of him. A click of the lock and then… the door opened.

"Kurt"

Just the sound of his voice, which Kurt hadn't heard in two weeks, was enough to push Kurt over the edge. His knees started to give out and he reached for the door frame in a desperate effort to spare him the humiliation of falling to the floor at Dave's feet.

His hand never reached the pale blue door frame. It was; instead, caught in the hands of the boy he loved. Dave didn't stop there. He gathered all of Kurt up and pulled him snugly into his arms.

Right there on the doorstep. In front of God, his parents, and an untold number of nosey neighborhood witnesses.

It was after the shock of that embrace that Kurt realized Dave was talking. Whispering, really. In his deep, soothing voice. Through the rushing in his ears, Kurt strained to hear what his boyfriend (his boyfriend!) was saying.

"Forgetting any other home but this"

He was saying it over and over, his voice as shaky as Kurt's legs. It took Kurt a second to register his words and then recall their source. The flash of outrage was enough to pull him from his beloved's arms.

"No, you are NOT quoting Shakespeare again! And Romeo and Juliet, no less. You cannot be so perfect, I won't allow it. How am I supposed to live up the romance bar that you are setting? Aren't you supposed to be a jock? I feel so deceived…"

Kurt was only warming up when he felt his feet leave the ground.

Dave had picked him up. Good lord, first he was practically swooning at Dave's feet and now he was being picked up by him. When had he turned into a helpless Victorian maiden?

He was about to blister Dave's ears with a lecture on how he was a strong, independent man when it registered that the shaking he'd felt when he'd been swept up in Dave's arms wasn't laughter. It was tears.

And it hit him then. How hard all of this had been on Dave. He'd been waiting for Dave for weeks but Dave had been waiting for him for years. Through the hard times early on, when Dave had bullied him to get his attention. To the years he'd been with Blaine, and Dave had looked on, never letting anyone know the pain he was in. To these last few long weeks, having Kurt within reach but unattainable.

Dave had been waiting for this moment forever. For him. They were each other's home. Like freaking Romeo and Juliet.


End file.
